Tuesday, November 16, 2004



i am MOVING ! relink everybody ! :)

here !

Monday, November 15, 2004

walk by faith ! :D

i am SO gutted. - bares teeth

i've made a few important decisions :

1.STOP SHOPPING.
2.Never marry someone who talks a lot.

Shopping is a shallow,and addictive habit that I have to break. :( After my dad told me about what people thought about me,I realised that this have got to stop. I will. After I get the few things I need from Miss Sixty and Guess.

Anyway. Yesterday was a pretty screwed up day,because I was in a bad mood,probably because of pms. Went to City Harvest with Daph in the morning. Then we had dim sum at Suntec's Crystal Jade,before rushing off to tuition. Was like,hell tired,rushing back and forth. I spent a total of 30 bucks on cab fare. THIS HAS GOT TO STOP ! RAH ! People's been telling my dad that I spend money like water. LIKE WATER ! who came up with that anyway ? Anyway,yes,I'm going to stop. WATCH ME. HMPH.

The only thing I'm going to splurge on is food. My only vice.

Met up with Eugene earlier on. Talked a lot,because we haven't seen each other in ages. Have to really meet up with my other friends man. Rather than shopping. Socialising is a better and cheaper way to spend your time.

OH ! And I've adopted a fetus ! :D This is like so exciting !

aol.com/kunoichi133/henry13.gif" align=left> I adopted a cute lil' poison fetus from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!


How CUTE :D Don't you agree with me ? :D

Saturday, November 13, 2004

the essentials in life !

"Every woman should have four pets in her life:
A mink in the closet,
A Jaguar in the garage,
A tiger in her bed,
And a jackass who pays for everything.”
Paris Hilton

:D

Monday, November 8, 2004

We live by faith; and not by sight.

If you say you are a Christian, why do you still live by the world ? If you say you are a a firm believer in Christ, then why do you not follow His teachings ? Isn't that contradicting ?

Hate sin. Easier said than done, true. But shouldn't we make an effort to avoid them, at least ? Shouldn't we try not to expose ourselves to sin or temptation ? When we have transgressed,shouldn't we kneel down and seek God's forgiveness, and never do it again ?

But no,you don't do these things. I mean, I am not perfect. Not perfect enough to judge. But if I don't warn you against these things, I wouldn't be fit to be called a friend. I love you, and I want the best for you. But I am in no position to stop you from doing whatever you like.

God frowns upon excessive alcohol consumption. Note that I used the word 'excessive'. If you wish to abide by His teachings, and avoid excessive drinking, shouldn't you avoid those places where alcohol are served in large quantities ?

Been there, done that. None of the worldly pleasures put together could amount to the joy and peace God could give. I just want you to experience this same joy ; I don't want to see you fretting,crying and harming yourself over those who've broken your heart. God can heal you,if you let Him. Just remember, Jesus loves you. So much,till He even died on the cross for you.

Since you call yourself a Christian, live by His teachings. Christians are supposed to be different. If we continue indulging in worldly pleasures, we shouldn't be fit to call ourselves the children of God. We would not even be fit to praise His mighty name.

Monday, November 8, 2004

I will be still ; Know you are God.

The LORD the Shepherd of His People

A Psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. 3He restores my soul;He leads me in the paths of righteousness,For His name's sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil;My cup runs over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me; All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord,

Sunday, November 7, 2004

red patent leather.

Yes,in accordance to the previous entry,I've shopped. :)

Not a major shopping trip or anything remotely like that. Just a quick,fifteen minute peek into metro,which,by the way,is having a 20 percent sale. Emerged sufficiently satisfied,with a new Guess bag,and a new pair of Elle heels. :) YES ! :D

There are so many things I wanna do after o levels,I can't even keep track of them. And it's going to be a feat,seeing that I only have like,a couple of days here in Singapore before I go overseas. :

And I realised that I've forgotten all about Miss Sixty and Armani Exchange during my Guess/Mango shopping craze. Now,that's gotta change. Hahah.

Just struck me how bimbotic this entry sounds. :( And I shouldn't even be THINKING of these things,seeing that I have more important things to worry about at hand. Like,my birthday. :D and O levels. Tomorrow's e maths paper 2. With much luck,it'll be as manageable as paper 1. -prays fervently.

Sighs. You know,sometimes I think my life is really mundane. I go through practically the same thing every day. A little shopping trip or movie marathon once in a while,and nothing else,except for tuition. Tuition basically runs my entire life. I wake up early on weekends because of tuition,and I go to sleep late at night,because of those blasted never-ending tuition homework. Frankly,tuition gives me more stress than school. Thank God it's gonna stop soon.

Tuesday, November 2, 2004

ROARS

I NEED TO SHOP !!

GLARES.

WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT SHOPPING I HYPERVENTILATE.

I AM SO GONNA LIKE,SHOP TOMORROW.

WATCH ME.

HMPF :(

Friday, October 29, 2004

-

the newfound joys of techno.

it soothes your wounds and numbs your nerves.

just like cocaine

and i feel like i'm going to disintegrate when the beat stops.

why does it hurt so bad ?

wednesday, 271004

one day i'll fly away.

Sometimes I'm really glad that I'm leaving Singapore in January. I know I shouldn't say that because I know by the time I'm overseas,I will be missing everyone like crazy. I am just glad that I can finally like,break free. I don't have to think about certain things and fret about it when there's nothing I can do. But then again,I am glad things are the way they are,because through them,I learnt a lot. How contradicting.

Sometimes I feel so insecure,I feel the world is collapsing down on me. Then I will remind myself that I have many friends who care for me. Sometimes I dread going to certain places,and doing certain things,because I felt that people are going to ignore me. Then somebody will message and give me a word of reassurance that they will not forget me. But I shouldn't be upset over all these things at all.

Because no matter what,the Lord still cares for me. :) And that's what matters.

After the past week,I just want to praise and worship Him for the rest of my life. He has finally answered my prayers,and given me peace that I have never known. Now,I don't even have time to think about the things that used to upset me anymore. I am just glad,glad that I have turned to Him in times of trouble. And He has already proven Himself to be true :)

It's like,now,I feel happy all the time. :) not the jubilant happy,but just very peaceful and contented. I have also learnt to accept things as they come. And more importantly,I have learnt to pray. :) Prayer is the best gift God has given us.

He has taught me so many things this week,I feel overwhelmed. Like,He taught me what true love is. It is gracious and unselfish. He told me,so gently and lovingly,that no matter what,He will stay by my side forever even when my friends and family forsake me. And His Spirit is already residing in me and I can feel it,like a ball of burning fire. :) I just want to correct my ways.

Though I feel unsure about my future,I know He will guide me :). He will take care of me when I'm alone in the US,and He will take care of my friends and family here in Singapore,so I shouldn't worry. Haha.. sigh. Time passes so quickly. :

Come to think of it,I don't even need the O levels !

monday, 251004

King of Glory.

I love my blog template :D more importantly,i love Marlene Dietrich. She is like,how cool.

My mum just confirmed the plans. I only have two months to enjoy singapore before I fly off to US. :( two months !!! A week ago I would have been celebrating. Now that it's a fact,I cannot imagine myself living anywhere else. Time flies. In the remaining two months,or ONE WEEK shall i say,counting out the o levels and the days i will be overseas,I will meet up with ALL of my friends and long lost friends. :( Man.. I can't imagine.

But I guess it'll be good for me to learn to live independently,for once. :)

God,I'll miss everyone so freaking much. :(

Anyway. I dyed my hair ! Blue black ! And the best thing is,it looks blue ! I thought it'll just turn out plain black,but no. It's blue black,just like what the bottle said. -satisfied My family thinks it looks much better than my weird,grass-like brown with blonde streaks hair. My aunt says,it looks MYSTERIOUS. Haha. She even told me to put on more eyeliner. Whatever it is,at least now I can sit for my o levels without worrying about the invigilator catching me for my hair. But anyway I was fully prepared to explain to him/her that my dad's portuguese. Ha ! As if. But having a long,weird,surname does have its benefits. Hahah.

the epitome of love.

The Greatest Spiritual Gift
1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned,[1] but have not love, it profits me nothing.

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails. 13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
- 1 Corinthians 13

Love in it's truest form is sacrificial. Although we know that human beings are not,and never will be technically perfect,if we love somebody truly,we will accept all of them;even their flaws. Therefore,Jesus Christ demonstrated this sacrificial love on the cross. The Son of God,capable of healing the sick and reviving the dead,obviously has the power to save himself from His terrible fate. He grew up in a time where crucifixion was the common way of meting out justice to the criminals. Surely He must have witnessed one of these crucifixions and saw the pain the victim underwent. Despite all this,He is still willing to die on the cross for us. The thick iron-wrought nails were not the ones keeping Him on the cross;but it was His unconditional love for us. He was willing to suffer tremendous pain for us and even give His life for us,even though He knew that we were sinners and we will probably never appreciate Him. The brutal Roman guards had whipped Him,beaten Him,pushed a crown of thorns into His head,humiliated Him,spat on Him,etc,but Jesus Christ still pleaded for their forgiveness. Never once did He condemn them;never once did He utter a word of protest. This is the kind of love that we should strive for. Unconditional love. To love someone who treats you well and loves you back is easy. To love someone who never appreciates your love and constantly hurts you is what we should strive for. For this is what Christ wants us to do. Love your neighbour as much as you love yourself. Love your enemies. I dare not claim that I understand the Bible and the different levels of its depth completely,but this much I know. The entire Bible is about love. Because God is love. When there is love,there is God.

Love is kind. Kind does not mean,'oh you're homeless. I shall go home and pray for you.' Kind means,'you're homeless. Why don't you come back to my house first before we find a solution?' To be able to make a difference in somebody else's life. To be kind means to be able to see Jesus in a person,to see the good in everyone. David Livingstone had graduated with a medical degree with the highest honours. Yet,he chose to go to Africa,with the tsetse flies,and the malaria rampant,to help the Africans until the day he died.

Mother Teresa left her sheltered position as a teacher in a fashionable convent school and chose to work amongst the poorest of the poor in India. She set up a new order,the Missionaries of Charity,with the vow:'to give wholehearted, free service to the very poorest'. When she was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979, she said; "I accept the prize in the name of the poor. The prize is the recognition of the poor World. Jesus said, 'I am hungry, I am naked, I am homeless'. By serving the poor, I am serving Him".

Love for the world at large. Love,regardless of whether the person is poor or rich,sick or healthy,pleasant or unpleasant. Love,whether the person is a Christian,a Buddhist,or an atheist. Love,simply because you see Jesus in everyone of them, regardless of their flaws.

liberation of the body and soul.

i passed both maths after all. :)

and my hands and clothes smell like a bar. i like :D

i removed my navel stud and tongue ring on monday,and i don't regret it. :) feel guilt-free now that i've got nothing to hide. now i can yawn in parents' face without trying to push tongue down to hide the piercing. :)

did lots of praying these few days and plenty of soul-searching. and i've come to a conclusion: as long as i did nothing against my conscience,i have every reason to walk with my head high. i like the way i am and i am not gonna change,not for anybody. i don't regret the things i did. slut/whore/bitch,call me whatever you want. it's doesn't matter.

i only have a few months left to rot here anyway,before i fly to US,study,find a millionaire to marry,and earn my first million by the age of twenty eight. not a bad future huh ? laughs. i've only just begun having my fun.

anyway,with God,the creator of the universe at my side,nothing can be against me. smiles. i'd like to see you try it.

went to clarke quay and esplanade THREE nights in a row. yawns. with my parents and my aunt ! realized that they're quite cool people actually. :) only that they can be embarrassing sometimes. especially the time we were in the soundbar at robertson and they decided to order ORANGE JUICE at eleven thirty pm. so my aunt and i escaped and sat on the swings. haha. anyway,i've found THE perfect place. it's the fullerton waterboat house. so beautiful and elegant.

friday,081004

i don't know any song ! :D

correction in the last entry: the 'apricot juice' was supposed to be AVOCADO juice.thanks to varissara for correcting. :) anyway i'm craving for that stuff again.

just found out my prelim results. sadly lady luck wasn't on my side,so i failed BOTH maths instead of one !! and i failed four subjects in total.:( there goes my dream of entering michigan or any other reputable institutions for that matter. hopefully the school will take pity on those who didn't do that well and moderate. i just hope i didn't fail a maths too spectacularly. otherwise,NO amount of moderation will save my skin.

watched choir boys today. or rather,les choristes,in french. IT WAS SO GOOD. it was sweeter than ANY romance movies i've seen. and the thing is,choir boys isn't even a romance movie ! now is that great or what ? :D those who are sick of sappy love stories,this is the show for you. and music lovers will definitely LOVE it. :D anyway,immediately after we left the cinema (gushing on and on about how SWEET it was),we headed straight to hmv in heeren and got the soundtrack. :) all the songs were fantabulous. voices of angels. :) hiyah just watch it lah !

yesterday,after making sure that i wasn't about to throw up or run to the toilet,we went to my cousins ashley and andrea's FIFTH birthday party ! :) at the american club. they are twins,by the way. a pair of beautiful identical twins. funny how God makes TWO copies of such beauty. okay lah i'm exaggerating. but still ?! anyway.

the entire function room was packed to the nines will screaming and running kids from the american school,ashley and andrea's classmates. which reminds me of the song:

thursday, 071004

we're living in a material world.

i just realized that in my previous entry i mentioned how i thought the trip back to indonesia will leave me refreshed and charged.

WAS I EVER WRONG.

the whole time i was there,i was swatting mosquitoes,sweating under the sun,swatting flies as big as cockroaches,applying sunblock,swatting MORE mosquitoes,screaming at the sight of the flies landing on my food,swatting MORE gargantuan oversized flies,and tripping on my heels because the ground,or rather the mud,was too uneven.

i should've known that heels are limited to civilization.

the mosquitoes there are like the descendants of dracula himself. they suck and suck until your blood runs dry and you die of blood loss,caused either by the sucking of the mosquitoes,or by the scratches you inflicted upon yourself in an attempt to relieve the itchiness,which in turn causes profuse bleeding. thank god my family and i were spared these horrible fates because after three days,we managed to escape.

digressing a little,the above paragraph reminds me of the Life of Pi. the part where Pi and Richard Parker the tiger found this island in which the algae were so acidic it kills all the meerkats and the fishes and the other animals. only in this case it was the mosquitoes. anyway.

okay lah. it wasn't that bad. it was a developing village. maybe i am too accustomed to the standard of living here and the comfortable weather and the fresh air with considerably much less THINGS flying around,poking their noses into your food and skin. but after all,it is still my hometown anyway although i left it at the age of three. i just couldn't imagine myself surviving the living conditions there. i guess at that point of time i wasn't exposed to better conditions yet,so i thought yellow coloured water from the tap was perfectly okay.

nevertheless,it brought back many many memories. visited the houses we used to live in,the restaurants we used to frequent,and the neighbours we used to have. haha. how fun :) and the FOOD. the food is unbeatable ANYWHERE. the only thing i looked forward to every single moment i was there was the next meal,where we're gonna have it,and when we're gonna have it. and the APRICOT JUICE. with chocolate syrup in it,served cold and freshly squeezed. yummy. those are stuff heaven is made of.

anyway. although i can hardly say that i came back refreshed,because i was constantly scratching myself in a futile attempt to relieve the perpetual itch,i came back considerably happier. okay so now i have to study. breaktme OVER.

surprisingly,i only failed TWO subjects so far for prelims. getting back a maths,e maths and chinese tomorrow. with much luck,i could fail ONLY a maths,thus making michigan's criteria of minimum five passes at prelims/o levels. :)

someone's trying to get me dead. i fully suspect that it is my maid who poisoned my porridge last last night. -narrows eyes

tuesday, 280904

seeds of doubt.

He can't keep his eyes off her,and she knows it. Yet he barely registers what she says. It's partly that he's drunk too much.But there's something else besides. They are both aware that something subtle and wonderful is going on. There's a warping of the air between them,a distortion of the usual boundaries that outline figures and make them distinct. They share a rare attentiveness,a depth of connection,a complementary reaching out. It lasts only a few seconds,but both are sensitive to a strange pull within them. At its simplest,it's a longing to be happy,and in the sympathetic tilt of their heads they each seek an answering happiness.

"To the Rite," Coco says again,this time only to Igor. Ice cold,she feels the champagne ripple deliciously down her throat.

She does not address him again directly throughout the rest of the meal. Or even afterwards as they relax at the table with cigarettes. She does not need to. For every incidental remark,every gesture she makes,each gleam of her eyes is meant for him alone. Her whole being dances silently in front of him in a language beyond words.

just finished reading the book coco and igor by chris greenhalgh. to all coco chanel fans out there,i fully recommend this book. :) kinda leaves behind a lingering aftermath of the simple and intoxicating affair. even hours after completing it i still feel like i'm in heaven :D

anyway. today was the last of the prelims(thank god it's FINALLY over), and so i took a little break and watched the terminal,which was superb,with ingrid. everyone should totally watch it. we laughed our asses off man. haha. seriously,i've never laughed harder in a cinema than this in my entire life. although it's a comedy,there's this other level to it with hidden depths,which kinda explores human nature. like,where to draw the line between compassion and rules and propriety. it's a REALLY good show :D anyway. haven't hung out with ingrid for like damn long. totally missed her company. :)

can't wait for friday when i can finally go back to indonesia. haven't set foot in that country for like,YEARS. must've been three years. going to take the rest of this week off. i mean,all that mugging is seriously taking its toll on me. my body and eyes desperately needs to recuperate before it can get into the o level intense studying mode. so on monday,fresh and well-rested,i'm gonna start studying :)

don't want you back.

i'm thinking of removing my navel stud. it looks weird on me :| plus,it hinders me from doing sit ups or crunches properly. sadly,i CAN'T bloody hell remove it. why ? becos my darling piercer,esther pierced it and she's already outta this shithole place and she is the only person i know who is cool enough to dreadlock her hair. SO. it's stuck with me for life.

speaking of navel studs,it's my navel stud's ONE YEAR BIRTHDAY on the 9th ! 9th september 2003. :) heh. brings back so much memories. haha.

went to visit louie in her house today. poured out all my problems and cried my heart out. feels good to cry. i love my bestfriend :) she never fails to make me feel better cos she's rational and sensible as always,and i get the feeling that even if everything changes,she never changes. haha. well.

i'm quite happy now because i just called MICHELLE ! god,i miss that woman man ! hahah. talked about stupid,silly stuff as usual. :) i love my seatmate/bitchmate. and i just saw the PRETTIEST pink top from mango today ! :D nineteen bucks ! i'm SO gonna fly down to taka to get it tmr. if only ALL clothes come as cheaply.

agri's coming tmr morning. to pon school. hahas. can't wait to see her hair. stupid girl went ahead and dyed HER hair without telling me ?! what happened to the 'last day of o level' hair dyeing TOGETHER session ?! i don't care,she's gonna RE-DYE her hair on that day. :(

somehow,
you've got everybody fooled.

there's no such thing as forever,honey.

thursday,260804

supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

FINALLY finished printing the application,after trying to get the printer to work for like,a zillion times. i am SO EXCITED. :D now all i have to do is work hard for prelim and o levels and get teacher recommendations. :) yay.

one more week before september holidays. and have to start looking for pink velvet.

tuesday,240804

indescribable joy.

my dream's coming true ! hahahaha. hope my mum means it this time. :)

anyway. michelle's hilarious. we were sitting in one corner of the classroom when amelia stood up,and michelle went,i bet if you called her name and looked away she wouldn't know it was you. and i was like,oh RIGHT. and she said,really try it ! and being the fool i am,i did. and amelia looked at me and said,what ? HAHAHAHA :D it was SO stupid. oh gosh. i can't stand it. and michelle didn't believe that people would recognize our voices and so she tried changing her voice and yelled cheryl's name,trying to disguise herself but to no avail. haha. stupid girl. she's still not convinced that people knows her voice.

a math mock was alright. combining three brains together. haha!

trying to print the application now. but realised the printer isn't attached to the comp ! rahh. wasted so much time trying to figure out why. :(

thursday,190804

he's the one that'll never let you down.

neither height nor depth,nor anything else in all creation,will be able to separate us from the love of god that is in christ jesus our lord. romans 8:39

today was alright. only towards the end of school kinda mood-swinged a little but other than that i was happy happy happy :D it's so nice to be happy. this pitas is supposed to be happy. so new pitas,new me. haha.

anyway. was already getting at macs outside school when my cousin called. she didn't have her ic,so she couldn't take her english oral. totally panicked. hope everything went alright. -prays fervently then shared cab with amelia and tiff.

made plans for saturday. going out with charm :) gonna watch catwoman. gonna do our hair,but i don't know what i should do to mine. there's too many things i wanna do to it ! but can only be done after o level. or the school will skin me alive. yay. :) can't wait. i've been studying way too hard these weeks. time for a little shopping trip. :D

now that i've got a new pitas,i'm so totally in the mood for blogging. hahas. maybe cos it's all clean and white. and that cartoon up there is so funny !! :D hahahahaha. well. still waiting for the batteries to come before i can type with that wireless keyboard. i'm punching away on the tiny minute laptop now. :(